SciFi News Network 2092: Advertisement: Ask Your Doctor If NeroScarfin Is Right For You
OBESITY WILL KILL YOU!
With population levels stabilizing around the world and continued advances in technology that make producing, preserving, transporting, and eating food easier every year, the populations of all but the poorest countries — and even most of those! — have gotten fatter than ever.
SEVENTY-THREE PERCENT OF OF YOU ARE OBESE. FAT! YOU ARE FAT! FATNESS IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH IN ADULTS OVER TWENTY-EIGHT AND HAS BEEN SINCE 2071.
Only the incredible advances made by modern medicine in the last 50 years have prevented life expectancy from plunging below the sixty-year mark for the first time in the early 20th century.
NeroScarfin IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE ADVANCE OF ALL! IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE IF YOU’RE FAT — and you’re fat!
NeroScarfin is a patented and proprietary complex of medical nanomachines, drugs approved for medical use worldwide, vitamins, minerals, and micronutrients that prevents the food you love from making you fat! NeroScarfin has been clinically proven to remove 94% of the calorie content from the food you’re eating so you can eat as much as you want and never get fat! It really will save your life! NeroScarfin encapsulates and denatures sugars, complex carbs, fats, oils, and proteins but leaves all of the delicious taste and the glorious, decadent feeling of fullness you crave! You can eat rich desserts, fatty fried food, fast food, candy, fruit, nuts, meat, fish, butter, cream — absolutely everything you want and as much as you want!
NeroScarfin is a small gelcap no bigger than a common pain reliever. You simply take one with every estimated 2,000 calories of food and per hour spent eating and you can enjoy all of the decadent feasting you want, whenever you want — and because of the way NeroScarfin works, you’ll never even suffer indigestion or diarrhea that rich food normally can cause!
Best of all, because of the vitamins, minerals, and micronutrients that NeroScarfin contains, even if you take it with every single meal you’re in no danger of malnutrition, ever! You’ll be thin, fulfilled, and never have to worry about the early deaths that generations before you had to suffer in order to enjoy food the way it was meant to be enjoyed.
Ask your doctor if NeroScarfin is right for you — and it almost certainly will be, as the side effects are infrequent and usually minor. Ask your doctor to discuss them with you, and if NeroScarfin is not right for you, what you can do to achieve the health you need to take NeroScarfin — because you need NeroScarfin!
Live like a decadent emperor of ancient Rome, enjoying 20,000 calories of the most delicious delicacies you can dream of EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU EAT! Live the NeroScarfin Life today!
[The folks supporting me over on my Patreon page saw this 3 days before it was posted here — plus they have my seriously big and frequent thankyous for their generosity. Head on over and give a self-published indie author struggling for a break — me, silly! — a little love. Thanks!]
Posted on June 3, 2016, in Food, Making Fun of Pop Culture, Microfiction and Flash Fiction, Science Fiction, SciFi News Network and tagged Advertising, Diet drugs, Eat All The Things, Fat, food, Food Technology, Gluttony, NeroScarfin, Obesity, Overweight, Prescription drugs, satire, Spoof advertisement. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.