Category Archives: Silly

The Proper Way To Read A Book…

…is to hold it open with your toe so both your hands are free. Antics and toe courtesy of my middle son, 6 year old Victor, who now often reads the bedtime stories for his little brother Cuinn.

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Tweets From Many Futures

I used to have a Twitter account that was intended to be a writing-only, no politics or social commentary, version of my primary @Tao23 account.

Does that sound like a boring idea? It was. It bored me and a few people told me it was a boring idea and I stopped using it. So it sat fallow for a few months.

And then I decided that, being a science fiction writer, it might be fun to occasionally write a tweet from the future. Which future? Any future that popped into my mind, of course. I’m the guy who has written and published over 100 short stories with hardly any occupying the same universe — I can think of maybe 2 or 3 times that I’ve come back to a world for a second story.

My writing may or may not be a reflection of my ADHDHEYASQUIRREL to some degree.

Anyway, it’s fun, and it’s kind of another brainstorming outlet and I might get a story idea or two out of it one day, and it’s a flexible enough concept that I can be political or social or silly or nihilistic or hopeful or whatever my mood is that day hour.

So. Go look and follow and enjoy, or not, as the urge moves you. Also, I might take suggestions or retweet your tweet from the future if you’d like. Especially if accompanied by bribes — I accept cash, pizzas, or chocolate.

Which Science Fiction or Fantasy Villain is Donald Trump?

TMZ-011117-donald-trump-buzzfeed-kal-1080x608

Image from TMZ story about Trump shouting down a CNN reporter

The choices, of course, are endless. Choosing might be a bit tough. For example, Lex Luthor is a tempting choice – billionaire, elected President, has an adversary he can’t stop obsessing over and who some hold up as a hero figure and others regard with suspicion (calm down, Hillary – you’re no Superman), has his own vision of how to use the power of the United States to fulfill his own goals – and yet, can you really compare Trump’s intellect and planning ability to Luthor’s? I would argue NO FREAKIN WAY, OBVIOUSLY.

You might even stretch the definition of villain a bit. I mean, you could certainly call Trump a Salacious Crumb.

The name fits. Perhaps not the role, but ol’ Salacious fits my purpose here, which is to make a clumsy transition to my own choice.

I have a reason to make this choice here: I’m removing the most glaringly obvious one so you have to come up with something different. Ha-ha!

Nelson ha ha

Source for all your Nelson ha-ha needs

Donald Trump is… *DRUM ROLL*

Jabba the Hutt LOL.gif

Source: a ComicVine comment thread, of all things

They’re both filthy rich, emphasis on the filthy. They’re both ALLEGEDLY WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE in bed with organized crime. They’re both misogynistic – just look at that getup he stuck Princess Leia in so everyone could gawk at what a “young and beautiful piece of ass” he had.

Trump misogyny

Source: a Pinterest listicle thingiee

They’ve both got their slimy tentacles deep into the levers of power and are happy to use them to enrich themselves.

And they’re both gluttonous pigs. Whether the feast is food, power, wealth, or flattery.

vladimir-putin-riding-huge-pig-with-donald-trumps-head

Source: a parody adaptation of a sculpture by artist Liu Xue, apparently photomanipulated by a Starecat user

If you have your own ideas about which villain Donald Trump is, kindly leave a comment and I’ll be happy to discuss Donny’s villainy with you. 🙂

If you walk with a cane…

…your kids will want canes too. And then, when you look the other way, they will swordfight with them (not pictured).

Fair warning.

Proofreading Is Vtal

Tattoo without proofreading

We love to read (I feel safe including everyone — who comes to a blog to NOT read?).

Writers love to write — or at least, love-hate. Editing is sometimes a chore, but really it’s going over the rough of the story we want to tell and smoothing it into the best version of the story we can produce. So writers are almost always all about some good editing.

Proofreeding, though, is sort of the proverbeeall red-headed stepchild. Nobuddy likes to poofread.

But if you dun’t want too lokk slily, proofreading is vtal.

Happy Pi Day, Europe Edition

PiDayTweet2015

Thought I’d take a moment to share my Pi Day tweet with WordPress.

When I Think “Faster Food,” I Think Robot Cooks, Not SHRIMP DUMPLING CANNON

Yes, this is an advertisement. Usually, I’m no fan of advertisements.

However, this one is hilarious and creative… and it made me laugh.

Laughter is precious.

Happy Holidays To You, Cat And Paper Edition

CatWrapping

A Baconless Dystopia –OR– I Find Your Lack of Bacon Disturbing

Bacon

Looking back on my decades of science fiction reading, I realized a terrible thing: there’s not very much bacon in the future we, as science fiction writers, collectively imagine.

A few authors have baconed the future, but not many. It’s as if there’s an assumption that lousy for you fat-laden foods like bacon will simply vanish as we gain in wisdom and/or technological prowess.

Personally, I have a feeling that before too long we will have resident medical nanobot swarms dedicated to squeegie-ing the cholesterol off the insides of our arteries and flushing out the excess fat we humans put on in the course of devouring future (potentially vat-grown and cruelty-free) bacon.

There IS a place for bacon among the stars. Stop pretending there’s not, fellow science fiction writers!

Science Fiction & Fantasy Classics As Clickbait Headlines

MoonLeVoyageDansLaLune

First, the clickbait titles themselves. On page 2 (the link to page 2 is allllllll the way at the bottom of this page, under the related post thumbnails), I will post the title plus the book the title refers to.

That way, you can enjoy guessing which books the clickbait titles are ‘advertising’ before going to the next page to see if you guessed right.

The clickbait:

You Won’t Believe Why One Old Hobbit Walked Halfway Across The World

One Weird Trick To Becoming The Religious Icon of An Entire People (Hint: Kwisatz Haderach!)

You’ll Be Shocked When You Realize You Love This Genocide-Committing Murderer

The Most Embarrassing Reactions When Winter Is Coming

This Weird Old Trick Will Help You Defy The Book Burning Hordes

This Story Will Put You Off Pork Chops Forever

You’ll Be Shocked When You Find Out How Dangerous Lifehacks Really Are

This Zoned-Out Martian Hippie Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity

You Might Think Nothing Is Worse Than Ebola — But You’re Wrong

The Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Read And Not Understand

How Bad Will Your Kids Screw Things Up? The Answer Is Worse Than You Think

One Grandpa Goes Green — You’ll Never Believe What Happens Next!

You’ll Never See America The Same Way Again After You Learn What One Convicted Felon Learned

Click over to page two below, and see the headlines matched up with their classic SFF titles!