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People Kibble: SciFi News 2033

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US in Ottawa Newsletter
January 22, 2033
Patrick Chowdhury Melendez
 
President Trump Jr. “Fights Hunger” With People Kibble
 
Newly inaugurated President Donald Trump Jr. announced a USA-wide anti-hunger program from the so-called “press vault” in Trump Tower in NYC (the de facto White House since 2021) at 5:15 this morning.
Press coverage was limited to fifteen reporters representing the “Gang of Seven” Trump regime-approved media organizations. A source within Trump Tower confirmed that those reporters were brought into the tower during the inauguration for sequestration and “extreme vetting.”
The source also stated the initial number of reporters admitted was sixteen, two per media org. The sixteenth reporter did not appear in footage of the press conference released by Vice President (and former President) Eric Trump. The whereabouts of that reporter are unknown. US in Ottawa staff and other expatriate press speculate that Reporter Sixteen may be Miles DeGuzmen of the popular morning Fox News “Trumping the World” segment, which has been guest-hosted by Sean Spicer since January 19th.
Trump Jr.’s “anti-hunger” program, “Making Americans Healthy,” follows two years of widespread simmering protest and riots in the wake of President Eric Trump’s 2031 federal-level outlawing of the last state-level food stamp, EBT, and WIC legacy programs. Federal welfare programs, including food and financial assistance, were ended in 2023.
Riots were especially intense in spring of 2032 following the revelation of the February malnutrition deaths of Mrs. Jackie Pillman of Little Rock, Arkansas and her kindergarten-age twins, Steven and Stephenie. The President announced that he was “working on a solution” in his Thanksgiving day address to the nation that year. He also vowed to “plug news leaks” in his remarks, thought to be a reference to the anonymous bloggers who produced the viral stories of the Pillman deaths. No arrests were ever announced, though some night disappearances of suspects were rumored in following months.
“Making Americans Healthy” relies on National Guard detachments (formally placed under federal control in 2021), which are directed to distribute one fifty pound bag of UNGR (Universal Nutrition Granular Recipe, a soy and peanut based, vitamin-enriched food dubbed “Purina Human Chow” in expatriate media) to any citizen who reports in person with two approved forms of federal identification to a distribution point on the 5th and 20th of each month.
“UNGR is a terrific food that provides everything adults and children need to be healthy and well-fed,” President Trump Jr. said in the released presser footage. “The taste is a bit boring, sure. I’ve tried it. But if people are hungry, they’ll come and get it, and they’ll be thankful for it. If they don’t like the taste, great. Maybe they’ll get off their asses and get jobs. There are so many jobs that the CEOs of factories and construction companies come to me every day begging me to find them workers.”
Independent economic analysts in the EU and India estimate actual US employment at 25-30%, or 60-65% if the chronically underemployed are included. US figures, released by law exclusively by press release from the Oval Office since 2024, place US unemployment at a radically unlikely 2.2%.

Flash Fiction: Under Ashes

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“Anything worth a damn is made on a coast and ships from a coast. By air or sea.”

That’s what the president said. At least, it’s what was reported on the shadow web that snakes through the makeshift network of “smart” stoves and washing machines and automobiles (if you can afford them!) and can openers and athletic shoes and disposable razors and anything else with WiFi and an app.

The authorized news, on the other hand, ran a piece on how the economy was so gloriously rampant and virile that airlines have formally discontinued coach and business class seating, leaving nothing but a spacious expanse of first class and super luxury class seating in their cavernous airliners.

The anchorbot’s perfect on-air voice floated like a cloud behind the image of an iron-haired general, her chest a solid plastron of stars and ribbons like a compacted galaxy. Her feet were up on an ottoman and a masseusebot worked the suspension bridge of corded tendons in her neck with eight-fingered silicone hands.

Then, as the anchorbot droned a lulling narrative bridge, a puffy gilded teen cherub sat with a megaplatinum record from Motherland Records on a hefty wood base with a tall glass cover occupying a seat of it own beside her. A stewbot cracked the claws of a four pound lobster with deft blurs of a little brass gavel and slid the laden tray before the starlet who tucked into the chow with a flood of melted butter.

Finally, the anchorbot burbling upbeat and drawing to a conclusion, the vid showed a man in an immaculate dark suit and bright tie. The men are always first or last, symbolic frames of the stream of words and images, carrying with them weight and importance, tangibility. The lights and vids of an array of three monitors suspended from the ceiling (the “overhead” on an airplane, is it called?) flickered gem-reflections off the heavy steel rims of harsh six-angled eyeglasses. His hair was a blond cap, waxed down like a helmet. Sideburns trimmed to stilettos stabbed the angles of his jaw in the new style I can’t get used to. A trackball in each hand, he Does Important Things for the cameras.

The images fade to the state news logo and the anchorbot climaxes and relaxes into a commercial.

We all have televisions so we can see how good things are. We may not have hot water, or even running water. We only have electricity part-time. I can’t afford the simplest drugs to treat my pre-diabetes or even aspirin for my arthritis half the time. I set snares for squirrels or I’d have nothing to go with the endless lumps of hard bread (gotta soak it in a bowl of water to eat it) and cheese the Army hands out to keep us from starving or rioting or both.

But the state provides televisions. A new one every Christmas, even if you forget to bring them the old one to trade in.

We’re doing great, dammit. We’re finally great again. The television tells us so. All the biggest world powers respect us they way they should, the announcerbots say.

Just outside the city line – I can see it from the kitchen table in this two room shack I’m blessed to share with just two other bachelors – a bot crew and one Christ of a huge fanged combine-thing, driverless and nameless, chews up the old interstate highway and loads the bits into an endless stream of self-driving dumptrucks that take the blacktop south to do God knows what with it. Thin dribs and drabs of snow float through the scene like in a snow globe, and icicles hang from the noses of the workbots. They don’t care, of course.

I hear blacktop is made from oil. Maybe they’re squeezing the oil back out of it to ship to India or China or Brazil. Those places are hungry for oil and any other resources they can get their hands on, the shadow web whispers from the WiFi toilet when I crap. Who knows if it’s true. The television doesn’t say a word about that.

But the stock market is up again, and the Air Force says Fallujah will fall again soon.

There’s going to be a celebration when it falls, next month in DC. The commercial for it is on again. It has been playing twice an hour since spring.

The commercial ends and my gaze falls on the faded cap hanging on its nail across from the window. The cap is gray now, like my hair before it fell out, but you can still see the crimson fire peek out of the deep folds of the seams like ember under ashes.

I wish I could be in DC for the celebration. To wear the cap again, pump my fist in the air and holler again. Full of power, strong like a bear. Those were the days.

But the highway has gone away, and I’m not much for walking anymore. Nobody I know is.

END

(This post first appeared on my Patreon page, 02 January 2017. My patrons get to see a lot of things early, and can get free ebooks and even paperbacks! Come help me get the hell out of this damned trailer park and into a place where I can have even a small writing office and maybe even write ALL THE TIME. Well, almost all the time. I do have kids and a wife and a cat to think of as well.)

Read This Over-The-Top Press Release From Trump IX (SciFi News Network 2204)

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06 January 2204

Reuters Buzz

Above: Propaganda image of Trump I, President of the United States (pre-schism) 2016-2019. In the Eastern (Schismatic) United States, Trump I is depicted as the father of his nation and a strong military leader. In fact, Donald Trump I was assassinated by a right-Anarchist “Sovereign Citizen” in early 2019 after a divisive but ineffective partial term in office marked by internal intercultural violence, mass riots, and an escalating police state.

Financial troubles led to the de facto withdrawal of the United States from world affairs during his term in favor of addressing growing internal instability. He was succeeded first by his Vice-President Mike Pence, then by the last president of the pre-Schismatic United States, Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2020 – both equally ineffective presidents who expanded the internal police state while failing to suppress civil disorder.

It wasn’t until 2023 that Donald Trump’s son Eric (Trump II) led the Schismatic Coup, establishing the Trump dynastic “democratic republic” and severing the country into the Eastern and Western Schismatic United States along the strategic Mississippi River, today lined with walls and fortresses, most dating to the 21st century.

To this day, neither nation recognizes the other’s existence and officially refuses the label“Schismatic,” used by the United Nations World Federated Government, of which the Western United States is a member (since 2119) and which was in 2114 (continuous to today) recognized by the UN as the successor state of the old USA.

(Editorial additions and clarifications are indicated by italic text.)

Full statement of His Excellency President George Washington Lincoln Ronald Wilson Reagan Donald Trump IX, 9th President of the (Schismatic Eastern) United States of America and Defender of the Christian Faith, in his 7th Duly Elected Term of Office, Upon the successful ground test of the most Modern and Powerful (2nd generation, used by the UN beginning in 2084 and retired from official service in 2113) high-efficiency ion drive spacecraft engine and orbital kinetic bombing technology, FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE courtesy of Fox-USA Authorized Presidential News Agency:

Scientists of the (Schismatic Eastern) United States of America startled the world in an event to be specially recorded in the history of the USA, which spans 597 years from the founding of Jamestown. This is an exciting period in which all service personnel and People (sic: nonstandard capitalization throughout is as presented in the original press release) of the USA are making a giant stride, performing miracles and turning out as one united people in the all-out charge to hasten the Final Victory of the revolutionary cause of the Founders and the America First Trumpite GOP Party.

In joint operations, ion drive testing in the outskirts of the industrial district of Charleston, West Virginia and orbital kinetic weapons released from high-altitude atmospheric drones (the UN has maintained a no-fly zone above 50,000 meters over the WSUSA and interdiction of any orbital or interplanetary operations since the establishment of the UNWFG in 2045) in the Army-Airforce Testing Range in the ruins of Vacated St. Louis, Missouri proved that the technological prowess of the United States is the equal of any in the world. The tests were conducted perfectly and demonstrated unprecedented power release from both the ion drive and the kinetic orbital weaponry.

These tests prove the USA the equal and Better of the so-called United Nations World Federated Government and demonstrates the Spirit of our Most Dignified nation now equipped with the most Powerful orbital kinetic deterrent. These tests are measures for self-defense the USA has taken to firmly protect the Sovereignty of the country and the vital right of the nation from the ever-growing orbital and interplanetary threat and blackmail by the UN-led hostile forces and reliably safeguards the peace of the Ancestral Territory of the United States.

In world history there has been no precedent of such deep-rooted, harsh, and persistent policy as the hostile policy the UN has pursued towards the USA. The UN is a gang of cruel robbers which has worked hard to bring disaster to the USA, not content with having imposed the insane and unheard-of political isolation, economic blockade, and military pressure on it for the mere reason that it has differing ideology and social systems. The USA will Never yield to the UN’s ambition for aggression and conquest.

The United States, along its entire border including the seacoasts and the Mississippi River border with the bastard Nazi-Communist false “Western United States” rebellion illegally protected by the United Nations, has long been the world’s biggest hotspot of danger of war as the United Nations has lined the land, air, sea, and space itself with its largest and most threatening forces and weapons, including massive orbital strike groups and continuous high-altitude EMP-bomb drone coverage. Under continuous assault of economic sanctions and conspiratorial and false “human rights violations” accusations, the UN has desperately attempted to block the USA from building a thriving nation and improving the living standards of the People, and has attempted to sabotage the social system of the USA.

The USA’s access to orbital kinetic weaponry of Justice, standing against UN aggression and threats to attack with enormous forces, preserves the legitimate right of a Sovereign state for self-defense and a step for Justice immune to the insinuations of UN propagandists.

Genuine peace and security cannot be achieved through the UN’s campaign of humiliation or through compromise at the negotiating table. The present-day grim reality clearly proves once again the immutable truth that the Great Destiny of the United States of America can only be defended by our own efforts to Make America Great Again – by force of arms at home and abroad.

(This post appeared on my Patreon page 3 days before it appeared here, on the 18th. Become a patron and see posts early, get free ebooks THIRTY DAYS BEFORE RELEASE, and also you get my eternal thanks for being part of getting me the hell out of this damnable trailer park!)