The choices, of course, are endless. Choosing might be a bit tough. For example, Lex Luthor is a tempting choice – billionaire, elected President, has an adversary he can’t stop obsessing over and who some hold up as a hero figure and others regard with suspicion (calm down, Hillary – you’re no Superman), has his own vision of how to use the power of the United States to fulfill his own goals – and yet, can you really compare Trump’s intellect and planning ability to Luthor’s? I would argue NO FREAKIN WAY, OBVIOUSLY.
You might even stretch the definition of villain a bit. I mean, you could certainly call Trump a Salacious Crumb.
The name fits. Perhaps not the role, but ol’ Salacious fits my purpose here, which is to make a clumsy transition to my own choice.
I have a reason to make this choice here: I’m removing the most glaringly obvious one so you have to come up with something different. Ha-ha!
Donald Trump is… *DRUM ROLL*
They’re both filthy rich, emphasis on the filthy. They’re both ALLEGEDLY WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE in bed with organized crime. They’re both misogynistic – just look at that getup he stuck Princess Leia in so everyone could gawk at what a “young and beautiful piece of ass” he had.
They’ve both got their slimy tentacles deep into the levers of power and are happy to use them to enrich themselves.
And they’re both gluttonous pigs. Whether the feast is food, power, wealth, or flattery.
If you have your own ideas about which villain Donald Trump is, kindly leave a comment and I’ll be happy to discuss Donny’s villainy with you. 🙂
Omniews Printernet Corporation
June 3, 2076
Omimerica Holdings is bringing you a bold new twist on the American Dream for the Tricentennial! Recent polls show that more Americans than ever before believe their leaders aren’t listening. The people who govern us aren’t accountable! They tell lies to get elected, break their promises as soon as they’re made, and get re-elected anyway.
By the time they choose to retire they’re a hundred times richer than when they got there — and you paid for it!
No more. Thanks to Omnimerica.
Omnimerica’s domination of the business world in every field has placed us in a unique position in history. Once, companies and citizens were at the mercy of the politicians. Sixty years ago, that began to change. For the first time ever, a global business concern (today a division of Omnimerica) and political office merged in the single person of the President of the United States. The people accepted it. The politicians accepted it. Our world, slowly, began to change. This year, that change is complete.
Today, an overwhelming majority of politicians at every level of government are involved with Omnimerica. They’re our board members, our executives, our division and holding heads, our consultants, and the customers of our worldwide supply chain.
So we’re taking action.
We’re changing everything. For the better.
Your voice will no longer be limited to voting for the lesser of two evils. You’ll vote every single day if you want! You can vote on every single issue, join the debate with your comments, reactions, and memes, and shape the policies of the United States AS THEY DEVELOP.
Never again will your voice go unheard. Omnimeria’s We The People is your destination to connect with family, friends, and the vital issues that matter to you. With a fast-moving timeline, fun games, an automatic entry in the billion-dollar Omnimerica Lottery with every post, and an advanced participation algorithm that could propel your words direct to the timeline of your local officials, the President of the United States, or even the Omnimerica Board of Directors, there’s so much to love that you’ll never fail to do your civic duty — or should we say, civic PLEASURE — ever again!
We The People is open for business in limited-participation mode right now. If you’re a US citizen, you already have an account! Log in with your SSN, birthdate, and a scan of your Citizenship Chip.
Government by the people begins on the day of the Tricentennial — log in at 12:01 PM PST on July 4th to cast your very first votes. You’ll be choosing the contestants for Dance Across the States, airing on Omnimusical 2 every Tuesday and Friday for thirteen weeks following the week of the Tricentennial. The winners will perform at ceremonies for thirty-five change of office ceremonies for mayors and governors slated for replacement by order of the Board of Directors.
Out with the old, and in with the NEW AMERICAN DREAM!
The Doppelgangers King is a brand-new flash fiction piece I’ve just posted to my Patreon for anyone to read — you don’t even have to be a patron!
Read it — if you enjoy science fiction, grumble about politics, or have a cynical bone in your body, I think you’ll enjoy it. 🙂
If I wrote Donald Trump as a character, he would never fly outside of overt satire. “He’s too one-dimensional, too absurdly over the top, too poorly conceived. But worst of all, he’s just a trope. In fact, you threw every major supervillain trope but one together and called it done.”
You’d be right, too.
First trope: he thinks he’s the hero. But usually the villain has a rationale for thinking so that makes sense. Like Magneto, out to save the mutants from the humans. But Trump is no Magneto. Trump isn’t that well thought out of a character. More like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, Trump thinks he’s the hero simply because he is himself. But Mr. Burns is a satirical character, representing greed and the blindness of old money to the daily concerns of the poor and the workers and the middle class. A serious character in a serious story needs to have more to him, and Trump doesn’t.
Trump is a sore loser AND an ungracious winner, which is both a villain trope and a bully trope. Fine, plenty of villains are bullies and vice-versa. There’s nothing too wrong with giving a villain both of these traits; they’re common enough in the real world among assholes. The only real problem is just throwing them willy-nilly in with the rest of the package of tropes without any real justification. Why is Trump a sore loser and an ungracious winner? Because he was raised a spoiled rich brat and has never known being denied everything he ever wanted? That doesn’t wash – Trump HAS been denied things he wants. He has lost properties and yachts and control of businesses because of corporate bankruptcies forced by runaway, mismanaged debt. He began his business life by blowing a million dollar loan and having to appeal to his dad to pull strings to get him tens of millions of dollars in credit, which credit line he promptly maxed out, requiring his dad to give him millions more to bail him out. He’s had opportunity to learn, but apparently hasn’t learned from any of his forty-plus years of experiencing denial and defeat. It’s just not a credible backstory for the character. It’s poor writing.
His self-absorbed egotism and lack of empathy, again, aren’t unbelievable in and of themselves. They’re just so over the top, so glaring. Cartoonish, even. Like reacting to the destruction of the Twin Towers on 9/11 by saying he now has the tallest building in the city. Who the hell would be THAT bereft of humanity? Outside of satire, nobody is going to buy that. Especially if this Trump character is supposed to be a savvy villain. Would Lex Luthor be stupid enough to say something that obviously self-absorbed, even if he believed it? In private, maybe. But TO A JOURNALIST IN A TAPED INTERVIEW? Too cartoonish, outside of maybe a one-shot comic issue where there’s no time for any subtlety or nuance at all.
He’s frequently driven by anger and mocks others for inborn characteristics like disability or physical appearance. SERIOUSLY, COME ON. Those are traits of nameless thug characters, not of big bosses. To be a believable major villain, they have to have some shred of self-control. They can’t just be lashing out randomly every time they don’t like someone. Plus it doesn’t really fit well with the ‘believes he’s the hero’ trope. Again, that trope requires at least a veneer of self-control that this ridiculous Trump character so obviously lacks.
But somehow, he harbors grudges, often for years, over setbacks both minor and major. If he’s so out of control he can’t help but mock a reporter for having a withered arm or resurrect a twenty-year-old feud with an actress over an entirely unconnected matter, how the hell is he focused enough to hold on to all these long-term grudges and plot revenge?
And on top of all that, he’s also blind to major portions of reality. He imagines himself winning when he’s losing. He calls abject business failures – by the way, bankrupting casinos during a gambling industry boom? Failing to sell VODKA, STEAKS, AND FOOTBALL in the United States? Who’s going to believe that shit? – victories. He thinks he’s suave and professional when all he has to do is watch his own interviews to see differently. He thinks he’s an opinion leader when he constantly changes his opinion on every position he’s ever taken.
It’s all too much. Way, way too much. All this isn’t needed to establish a character as a villain, unless he’s deliberately written to be a campy parody. And it’s not even subtle enough for that. There’s a point where the reader says, “this is all too crude and clumsy. It’s not interesting. It’s a mere catalog of assholery. This writer should have just written a listicle entitled “Ten Ways To Be A Total Prick” because I’m not buying the character AT ALL.
And after all that, what is this villain’s nefarious plan? To become the President of the United States and… not do the job. That’s it. To hand the whole job to the Vice President and travel around the country being a cheerleader, giving rah-rah speeches. Really. That’s the big revenge.
What’s the missing trope, you ask?
Trump isn’t a casual killer.
As far as we know.
So, 12 states drug test welfare applicants for some or all programs; 10 more are contemplating enacting similar drug testing regimes. Tennessee is the latest ‘success story’ in this drive to ensure that welfare recipients aren’t getting help to eat or live while high: over a six-month period, they administered 16,000 drug tests of which 37 were positive.
Numbers like that fuel criticisms that these drug test regimes for welfare do little more than cost states more money than they save — although, I’d note, that the companies selling drug test kits and administering drug tests make a tidy profit. In fact, in Florida, Governor Rick Scott co-founded the company that administered the tests, had a financial interest in it, and ‘fixed’ his conflict of interest by MOVING HIS SHARES INTO A TRUST OWNED BY HIS WIFE. So maybe there *is* a financial benefit to this testing — if your friendly neighborhood governor is funneling the testing profits your way at the expense of the state.
That aside — and it’s not inconsiderable — there’s another issue.
Enough people are worried enough that some poor person might be using drugs on the public dime that they want drug testing to stop it from happening, even if it costs more than it saves. If that wasn’t the case, this idea wouldn’t be spreading — but it is spreading. A lot of people want this.
84% of companies require drug testing of applicants and/or employees. This is pitched as a public safety concern; this is often valid. Sure, I don’t want someone high operating a bulldozer. I don’t want someone drunk doing it either, but we don’t breathalyze employees when they show up to work, do we? In fact, at work, we expect employees to have supervisors. Companies expect that too, and they pay supervisors to supervise because they want employees working, and working safely — not goofing off. I’d expect a supervisor to be paying enough attention to tell if his or her subordinate working the bulldozer is drunk or high (and why are these two separate concepts? Alcohol is a drug. Someone who is drunk is high on the drug ethyl alcohol. But that’s a whole different post).
But let’s say it’s about public safety. Safety is also the reason members of the military are drug tested. Again, valid. Nobody wants a person on drugs handling the cruise missiles. Again, however, supervisors are a more immediate and effective method of identifying a chemically impaired person before they get their hands on a warhead.
Now, what is more important to our safety than our laws and government? Why exactly do we not drug test politicians who apply for a political position by running for office, and why do we not regularly and randomly drug test each and every politician, local, state, and federal?
These are the people who write our laws. They define how our entire society works. They shape commerce from the local to the international level. They define our foreign policy. They decide how our police operate, what rights we have, how those rights are defined, and what abrogates our rights. They decide who gets drug tested for safety…
…oh. There’s our answer. Politicians are not drug tested because they don’t want to be drug tested.
Now, what do we tell a job applicant to the local fast food joint who refuses to be drug tested? We assume he’s a drug addict and tell him he’s not getting a job.
Why don’t WE do that with our politicians?
If we’re going to test folks for drugs, let’s test the ones whose conduct affects every citizen in the country, and a number of noncitizens and foreign nationals as well. That sounds like a grassroots effort that would be worth our while.